


light in the darkness will show you the way (give you the power to believe again)

by isloremipsumafterall



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 23:14:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11747202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isloremipsumafterall/pseuds/isloremipsumafterall
Summary: After the reaper invasion the Normandy is sent to investigate dark energy that has been showing up on planets. Who they find isn't what they were expecting.





	light in the darkness will show you the way (give you the power to believe again)

**Author's Note:**

> So there's a few people I wanna thank for this, Lexi for letting me ramble ideas to her at all hours of the day and Deb who was kind enough to beta the fic for me and put up with my terrible punctuation. (sorry Deb!)
> 
> The art for this was wonderfully done by [ eilonwycousland~](https://eilonwycousland.tumblr.com/post/163962676290/ashley-and-kaidan-from-ezrisdaxs-mass-effect)

                                                         

                                                       

 

Ashley watched from the Starboard Observation room as Palaven got tinier and tinier. They had just finished dropping Garrus off with new water and power supplies for the Turians. While she had wanted to stay longer she had promised Hackett she’d return to Earth soon.

 

The ship felt quieter without Garrus, Tali, and Wrex – and the rest of the Krogans they had picked up from Earth with him to escort to Tuchanka. At least Liara had stayed, the Shadowbroker could work anywhere now that the networks were back up.

 

“Uh, Commander?” Joker’s voice came over the intercoms and Ashley winced. He sounded as uncertain as she felt with the new title. The Alliance had saddled her with the promotion after the Normandy returned from their crash site back to Earth. Instead of the pride she should have felt all there was a sadness.

 

“What’s going on Joker?” She asked, still staring out the window.

 

“Tali’s on the comms, says it’s urgent.”

 

Ashley sighed, “I’ll go take it now.” She pulled away from the window, making her way through the ship to the comm room. Chakwas nodded to her as she stepped out of the Observation lounge but Ashley barely acknowledged it. Her gaze kept sliding over to the memorial wall on the ship, falling to one name in particular.

 

_Kaidan Alenko._

 

She shook her head to pull herself away from any thoughts that might have come of it, after all Tali was waiting and wouldn’t have called just to chat; it had to be important. She made her way to the old war room and to the comm station, pressing the button to activate her side.

 

“Hey Tali,” Ashley greeted her old friend, “What’s going on?”

 

“Ashley!” Tali’s voice was excited as she saw her but then Tali cleared her throat, a sign of embarrassment Ashley had learned, “Er, sorry, I mean Commander.”

 

“It’s alright Tali,” Ashley assured her, “I’m not Shepard, I think I can use my first name.” The loss of Shepard still hurt of course but joking about Shepard’s weird quirks made it almost better.

 

“Right,” She assumed Tali was grinning under her helmet but it would have been hard to tell in person and it was near impossible to do so through the hologram of her. “Did Shepard tell you anything about Haestrom?” Ashley tried to place the name but couldn’t, letting Tali know so she could continue on. “That’s where Shepard found me when she came to ask for my help with the Collectors. I was studying the dark energy there that was causing the sun to collapse. A few Geth are now stationed there looking at the data but we’ve discovered that there are other pockets of dark energy opening elsewhere.”

 

A cold shiver ran down Ashley spine, “It just never ends does it. Where’s this pocket then? Can we do anything?”

 

Tali fidgeted with her hands before saying, “I don’t know. We’d have to examine it.”

 

Ashley frowned, “So I’ll take the Normandy to do that, where am I going?”

 

Tali took a sharp breath, “Virmire. The pocket is on Virmire.”

 

* * *

 

 

The sandy beaches looked exactly how she remembered them, albeit no longer crawling with Geth. She could see Liara shooting her concerned glances from the corner of her eye but ignored them, ordering Liara, James, and Javik to fan out. EDI’s mobile platform stayed on the ship though, saying something about monitoring the strange numbers.

 

“Sure didn’t want to be here again.” Joker said from behind her, leaning against the wall of the cargo bay while Ashley stood still on the ramp.

 

“Shouldn’t you be in the pilots’ seat in case we need to take off fast?” Ashley shot back, secretly a little worried. Joker could move around a lot better ever since the Geth had developed a bone enhancement drug in the course of boosting the Quarian’s immune system but that still didn’t mean it was perfect.

 

He shrugged, “Just wanted to see what it looked like since I never got to last time.” The last time they saw Kaidan was unspoken.

 

“Just…be ready. Just in case.” Ashley said quietly, unsure if Joker heard her but moving down the ramp anyway. If she took a few steps forward she’d be right in the spot she stood when Shepard ordered her to go with Captain Kirrahe. Right where she told Kaidan everything would be fine and she’d see him back on the ship.

 

What a lie she had said that day, though she hadn’t known it.

 

“Let’s just get this over.” She muttered to herself and continued her exploration of the grounds with the data pad that Liara had told her to take.

 

She hadn’t wanted to but her search began to lead her to a crater on the planet, ash still filled the air, a terrible sight in stark contrast to what looked like a prime vacation spot only a few years before.

 

The facility had been here once, housing cloned Krogan and Geth and a bomb they deployed that had cruelly taken Kaidan with it. Ashley bit the inside of her cheek, stemming the mixture of sadness and anger she felt. This had all been the Reapers fault after all, the Reapers who now mysteriously helped them rebuild after Shepard did something with the Crucible. Nothing felt right still, this new world order left her with a headache.

 

The pad she was holding pinged and Ashley stared at it, letting the numbers flicker before her eyes but she had no idea what they meant. For all she knew she could be in trouble. She went to ping Liara, to ask her what exactly she should do but before her hand reached the omni-tool something caught her eyes.

 

It was almost like an illusion, there and not at the same time, a crack in the air that could only be seen from a certain angle. Ashley took a step closer to it, squinting her eyes, and the faintest of voices reached her ears.

 

“You made the right choice Commander.”

 

“Kaidan?” Ashley whispered, jerking back and the voices quieted once more. Her heart pounded in her chest, “I’m going crazy after all.” Ashley wished she could run a hand through her hair, breathe in the air unfiltered through her mask and just take a minute to gather herself. She didn’t have that option though, inching closer to the crack once more.

 

Shots fired all around her but it was like an echo, she heard Kaidan yell out in pain and couldn’t take it anymore. She charged towards the crack, faltering when instead of ground she hit concrete. Her shield fluctuated as shots hit it from Geth and Ashley felt like the world was spinning around her. At least until she caught sight of Kaidan, alive.

 

He was leaning against the bomb, one hand clutching a wound on his side and the other still firing bullets. The clock on the bomb ticked on, nearly down to one and Ashley heard the unmistakeable buzz in the air as the Normandy zipped past them.

 

This was the moment. Her past self was on that ship, staring miserably at the planet below and knowing that Kaidan was going to die because she was saved. It had been down to the two of them and a choice had been made on their part.

 

“Fuck this.” Ashley gritted her teeth, firing back at the Geth as she rushed towards Kaidan and hooked his arm over her shoulders, pulling him with her back towards the crack she hoped was still there.

 

The world became silent around them as she stumbled back onto rocks, Kaidan groaned when they hit the ground and everything came into focus for Ashley.

 

Her comm fired up and Liara’s voice filtered through, “Something’s happened Commander, the dark energy has dissipated, like it was never there.”

 

Ashley’s mouth felt dry even as she swallowed, she sat up and pushed Kaidan onto his back, his eyes were glazed and unseeing through the pain and she knew she had to get him to the ship.

 

“We found something else instead.” Ashley managed to hit her comms and say, “Joker I need the ship here now.”

 

* * *

 

 

Chakwas almost fainted at the sight of Kaidan before she went into straight doctor mode and tried to push Ashley out of the room.

 

“I’m staying.” Ashley said stubbornly, in part because she was afraid if she left him he would turn out to be a hallucination.

 

“You can stay over there and out of my way.” Chakwas snapped, rushing to get Kaidan’s armour off. He’d long since passed out thankfully but each section of skin that was exposed looked far too bruised for Ashley’s liking.

 

“Ashley,” Liara rested a hand on her bicep, “We need to move.” She shuffled them out of the room but to the window where they could watch Chakwas.

 

“Holy shit,” Joker met them there and echoed Ashley’s thoughts, “It’s really him.” He came up to Ashley’s other side, dropping a hand on Ashley’s shoulder. The three of them stood there like that for nearly an hour while Chakwas worked.

 

“We should tell the others.” Liara broke the silence, “They’ll want to know.” She didn’t look like she was eager to move however but still trotted away to get a hold of everyone.

 

“You think he’ll make it?” Joker asked, far too quietly.

 

“He better.” Ashley refused to accept anything otherwise. She’d lost Kaidan once, she wasn’t going to do it again like they’d lost Shepard. She looked over at Joker briefly and frowned at the bags under his eyes. “I’ve got this. You better go sleep Joker.”

 

He looked reluctant and like he was about to refuse but then issued a jaw cracking yawn that he couldn’t deny. “Just…let me know as soon as he’s up again.” Joker wavered a little still before finally leaving and Chakwas came out about twenty minutes after that.

 

“He’s stable now,” She said, her voice only shaking a little, “You can stay with him if you’d like.”

 

Chakwas didn’t have to say anything else, Ashley was already walking into the med bay. It felt wrong to see Kaidan hooked up to all those tubes, not unlike she had been after the Mars mission, but she’d take it because it meant that Kaidan was actually alive. Actually here.

 

“I’ve got one hell of a story to tell you LT.” Ashley laughed to herself as she took a seat next to Kaidan’s bed. “Welcome back.” She paused and then very softly said, “Please don’t leave again.”

 

* * *

 

 

She must have fallen asleep because she woke up it was to a loud chuckle. Ashley blinked at the harsh light of the medical bay and saw a large silhouette standing over her and Kaidan.

 

“Shit,” The voice boomed and she recognized it as Wrex, “I thought Shepard was the only human who could withstand death.”

 

“Nice to see you too Wrex,” Ashley said wryly. He grinned sharply at her or maybe that was just his regular smile, she was too sleep addled to tell. “When did you get here?”

 

“Garrus picked me up on his way.” Wrex shrugged, “Didn’t want to miss all the fun this time.”

 

“We’re not fighting anything.” Ashley replied.

 

“Not yet.” Wrex said, a little darkly. Ashley grimaced at the thought that that might turn out to be true and a fight was on the horizon.

 

“Ignore him, he’s just jealous he hasn’t got the quads to come back from the dead.”

 

She swiveled around to see Garrus standing there, Tali behind him.

 

“Didn’t I just drop you guys off?”

 

“And got into trouble without us.” Garrus shook his head, “We had to come back.”

 

“I didn’t believe it when Liara told me.” Tali said, “I took a ship here just to see if it was real.”

 

And be there for her, Ashley thought by the way Tali came over to hug her. She appreciated it all the same.

 

“He seems real enough.” Ashley reached down to take Kaidan’s hand, it was warm to the touch, concrete proof that he was alive.

 

“By all accounts he is Kaidan Alenko.” Chakwas stepped into her medbay, “A Kaidan Alenko who needs rest.” She shot them all a severe glance and they mumbled excuses together as they stepped out of the medbay. Ashley looked back behind her only once to ensure Kaidan was still there before the doors shut on her.

 

James, Javik, Liara, and EDI were all standing in the mess area when they stepped out and shuffled around the chairs so everyone could sit down.

 

“How did this happen?” Tali asked, crossing her hands on the table so she didn’t fidget with them.

 

“It had something to do with that dark energy you sent us to explore.” Ashley ran a hand through her hair, realizing it was a mess due to sleeping in a chair all night and making a face when she got caught in the tangles, “I was just looking and then suddenly it was like I was back on Virmire at the same time we were there before.”

 

“It’s incredible.” Liara began, “If the energy opened up a rift in time there’s no telling what else it could do.”

 

“I do not like this. A human may have been able to return but what else might.” Javik cut in. He looked uncomfortable being surrounded by so many people but at least he wasn’t talking about what delicacy Krogan soup used to be.

 

“He’s right, we need to figure out how to stop this.” Ashley sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose; despite sleeping she still felt exhausted. She wondered if this was how Shepard had felt all the time. “There’s no telling what damages it might cause.”

 

“I’d suggest looking at the data from Haelstrom, the Geth may have some ideas.” Tali laughed, “I’m still not used to saying that.”

 

“I miss blowing them up.” Wrex leaned back in his chair, “Ha, they squealed when you did.”

 

“That was the electronics whining.” Tali pointed out but all Wrex did was grin.

 

“First the reapers now this. Too bad Shepard isn’t here.” Garrus’ mandibles spread out in what Ashley thought of as a reassuring smile.

 

“Hold up,” James began, “If we pulled back that Kaidan guy who’s to say we can’t do the same for Shepard?”

 

There was an awkward silence that fell over them but EDI thankfully broke it. “I do not believe that would be Shepard’s wish. Also given that the Commander had to be near the crack and Shepard died on the Crucible it is unlikely anyone would be able to reach it in space.”

 

James crossed his arms, “I still say it’s worth a shot.”

 

“You humans just love raising the dead,” Wrex deadpanned.

 

“Let them stay where they have fallen.” Javik shook his head, “It is not right.”

 

“We could get Mordin back, or even Thane,” Garrus retorted.

 

“We don’t even know if Kaidan came out of this all right. What if he’s not Kaidan? You didn’t see the results of this dark energy! It wasn’t right.” Tali said hotly. Ashley glanced back at the medbay unconsciously. Tali had a point, maybe that person in there wasn’t Kaidan and the trip scrambled his brains; maybe Ashley made a mistake somewhere.

 

“It’s Kaidan.” Liara said forcefully, ending the argument before it could really start.

 

“We’ll report this to the Council.” Ashley decided for all of them, “I take you heard all that Joker?”

 

“Uh, yeah,” Joker said over the intercom, “Is Kaidan up yet?”

 

“Not yet.” Ashley replied. “I’ll let you know when he is, just get us to the council.”

 

“Aye aye, Commander.” She could just see Joker saluting lazily and rolled her eyes.

 

“EDI please strangle Joker for me,” Ashley muttered as she dropped her face into her hands.

 

“I will attempt to.” EDI paused when everyone glanced at her. “That was a joke.”

 

* * *

 

 

After Kaidan died – or not in this case – Ashley had been the one to empty out his locker. She’d found an old science fiction book there that Kaidan had been reading, one that she herself had recommended to him. In the margin were notes in his scrawled handwriting to talk to her about the various ideas in the novel. They had never gotten around to it and Kaidan hadn’t finished it. Ashley had taken that copy and left it with her own stuff instead of sending it back with the rest of Kaidan’s things to his family.

 

She hadn’t thought about that book in years and just left it buried in her footlocker but now she was trying to dig it up, which was how Liara found her in her room.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Liara asked from the doorway and Ashley froze for a second.

 

“Maybe not now,” Ashley admitted, “Maybe when he wakes up and this…it’s really him.” Tali’s thought had stayed with her whether she liked it or not.

 

“Ashley,” Liara stepped over and knelt next to her, “It is him. I believe that.”

 

She looked over at Liara with an appreciative smile at the same time her fingers brushed the book at the bottom of the trunk. She pulled it out with a victorious grin and Liara’s brow furrowed as she looked at the book in Ashley’s hands.

 

“That’s the Lieutenant’s book,” Liara tilted her head, “I used to find him reading that during his breaks.”

 

Ashley looked down at the book and shrugged, “I thought he might want it back now.” Or that she could read it to him while he was still out for the count.

 

“I’m sure he’ll appreciate that. His…his parents didn’t make it did they?”

 

“No.” Ashley replied, her shoulders falling. What kind of a world had she dragged Kaidan back into? Maybe the Reapers had been beaten in some way but he’d awaken to the horrors the war had left behind, without so many of the people he loved left in it.

 

She shut her eyes, taking a breath and whispering a quick prayer to God that Kaidan could forgive her for this and could learn to understand.

 

The sound of footsteps on metal had them both them looking up to the doorway, Tali entered a moment later. “Kaidan woke up,” She said but held up a hand, “It was only for a moment, Doctor Chakwas had to put him back in a coma, he nearly hit her with his biotics.”

 

Liara frowned at the news. “He sounds disoriented, I can’t blame him.”

 

Ashley stood up, “Next time I’m going to be there so he’s not so confused.” She promised. Before either Liara or Tali could say anything she marched past Tali towards the med bay.

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan didn’t wake up for three more days and by that time Ashley had gotten to the final chapters, right where Kaidan had stopped reading. Her throat felt sore from talking out loud so much but when Kaidan looked over at her she still grinned.

 

“Hey LT,” She said, hoping it came out light.

 

“Ash?” Kaidan dragged a hand over his eyes, groaning when he tried to sit up. “What happened?”

 

Ashley helped him sit up a bit, handing him some water. “It’s…it’s a longer story than you think and the ending is even weirder.”

 

“Weird like an intelligent machine species trying to wipe us out?”

 

She’d almost forgotten Kaidan had been there when Shepard had talked to Sovereign, at least she’d be saved from that conversation.  There was still the rest of the story though. “Weird like they’re sort of helping us now. Along with the Geth.”

 

Kaidan dropped the glass, letting it fall to the floor and shattering. He stared at Ashley. “You’re joking.” He frowned when she said nothing. “You’re not.” He repeated like he was still trying to believe it.

 

Ashley leaned back in the chair and sighed. “Let’s just start with where it ended for you, on Virmire.”

 

* * *

 

 

“So Shepard died and got revived by Cerberus?” Kaidan looked like he was trying desperately to hold back an oncoming headache but failing. He was rubbing his temples and not looking at Ashley at all.

 

“Yup, because of the colonists being taken by the Collectors.”

 

“Who were really Prothean.” Now Kaidan looked like he was going to be sick and Ashley couldn’t blame him, even thinking about all the modifications done to the Protheans to make them a subservient species for the Reapers was enough to make her angry again. Or bring back the nightmares she had where it was humans who were the ones altered like that.

 

“And we have a real live Prothean, Shepard dug him up.” Ashley shrugged, hoping to take the sting out of the revelation and drop that line of thought herself.

 

“Of course she did,” Kaidan muttered, “And where does the Reapers helping us come in?”

 

Ashley leaned back in her chair, sighing, “We’ve got another year to cover for that.”

 

Kaidan shot her a dark unamused look but nodded, “Then let’s get on with it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Just as she was finishing explaining how they’d fixed the mass relays Joker came into the medbay, grinning at the both of them.

 

“Look at you two, alive and together again. Add in some Geth firing at us and it’d be just like old times,” Joker said, taking a seat in Chakwas’ chair and swirling it so he was facing them.

 

“Except the Geth are on our side now,” Kaidan replied, shaking his head in disbelief. “And it was never really all of them working for the Reapers but a group of heretics?” Tali had come in to explain that part thankfully. He sounded like he didn’t want to believe it. “And I’m dead.” If he had meant it to be funny it came out hollow instead.

 

“Not anymore, you’ve joined Shepard in the weird ‘brought back by the strangest thing’ club. Hey you don’t happen to have a clone running around do you?”

 

Kaidan shot Ashley a confused look and mouthed the word ‘clone’ at her. She made a face, “It’s another story.”

 

“Sounds like I’ve still got a lot of them to hear.” Kaidan sighed and fell back onto his pillow. “I don’t even know what I’m doing here.”

 

She almost said ‘because I need you’ before it died on her tongue, that hardly seemed like a good enough reason to have decided for him.

 

“Because dying sucks. I imagine.” Joker said, “I’ve heard from reliable sources at least.”

 

“Is that reliable source Shepard?” Kaidan deadpanned.

 

“Oh sorry, that’s classified.” Joker shot back, “It’s good to see you again, Kaidan. Losing you kinda sucked.”

 

“That almost sounded emotional Joker.” Kaidan said, the corner of his lips twitching upwards in a smile, “Thanks, I guess.”

 

“He’s right.” Ashley cut in, needing it to be said, “Losing you did suck.”

 

Kaidan looked back over at her and lost the smile, she might have regretted that except there was a level of understanding in his eyes. She wasn’t aware that they’d kept looking at each until Joker coughed.

 

“Well, I should go fly the ship, not let us crash or something. Uh, I’ll catch up later Kaidan.” Joker waved at Kaidan and shot Ashley a smirk that she rolled her eyes at.

 

“Everyone else is here too, not just Tali and Joker,” Ashley said, “They’re all looking forward to seeing you again, even Wrex.”

 

Kaidan chuckled at that. “Hey Ash.” He reached over to rest his hand on her shoulder though it looked to take a lot of effort. “I am glad you brought me back. Thank you.”

 

“Don’t thank me yet, Kaidan.” She sighed, ready to admit what she’d been thinking lately, “I don’t know if I did the right thing.”

 

“I’m alive. I think you did. It’ll be fine Ash, we’ll figure this out.” His fingers pressed on her shoulder lightly and then he pulled his arm back. “Can’t get weirder right? Except…a clone?”

 

“I’m going to let Joker explain that one. It just gives me a headache. Yet it somehow makes complete sense given that it was Shepard.” Ashley snorted in derision, it had been funny in the aftermath though - something for the team to joke over.

 

“At least I’ll have some backpay to look forward to.” Kaidan joked as he settled back down onto the pillows. “Gotta be something good about dying.”

 

“I don’t know, according to Shepard you’ll have to jump through a few bureaucratic hoops.” She let him hang for a second, “But I guess I can speed it up, Spectre status and all.”

 

“Don’t think that just because I’m out right now I’m not going to try to catch up to you there.”

 

“I don’t know LT, I did raise the bar.” She’d missed this, the easy banter between them, feeling secure in the knowledge that it hadn’t changed.

 

“There’s a bar? Are we going?” Tali asked as she, Garrus, Liara, and Wrex stepped into the room.

 

“I don’t believe it’s that sort of bar Tali.” Liara said, “But if you’d like we can stop by Omega.”

 

“Ryncol’s on me.” Wrex laughed and only laughed harder when Garrus pointed out that no one else but the Krogan could drink it. “Guess it’s just for me then.” He leveled Kaidan with a look, “Too bad you humans lack redundant systems. You look like shit.”

 

“Thanks Wrex,” Kaidan said drily and Wrex grunted in return.

 

“I think what Wrex means to say is uh,” Garrus stumbled at that, realizing that there wasn’t anything polite to say since Kaidan did in fact look terrible. “Well you could have taken a rocket to your face.”

 

“Felt like I did,” Kaidan winced, “Those Geth sure weren’t letting up on me while trying to get to the bomb.”

 

The reminder of Virmire fell over all of them and Ashley exchanged a glance with the old crew. For the longest time they had mourned Kaidan’s sacrifice, one they all would have made in his place.

 

Liara cleared her throat, “Has Chakwas said when she expects you to be up?”

 

The conversation switched easily and Ashley felt herself relaxing, she hadn’t even realized how tense she felt again about Virmire being brought up. She glanced over at Kaidan and wondered if perhaps he looked at her and remembered she’d been chosen over him. If their situations were reversed she might have felt a little bitter, as it was she only felt guilty.

 

It was just being added to the pile of things Ashley had to feel bad about apparently, on top of taking over the Normandy.

 

Kaidan noticed she fell silent and kept sneaking looks her way that she smiled warily at, trying to convince him everything was fine though she sure didn’t feel that way.

 

“…I don’t like this dark energy any more than I like the Reapers trying to help up build things. It still doesn’t feel right,” Garrus was saying when Ashley tuned back in to the conversation. “Any idea what’s going on there Tali?”

 

She shook her head, “I got the data from the Geth but none of it makes sense still. Kaidan do you remember anything happening before Ashley arrived?”

 

Kaidan furrowed his brow trying to think back on it, “The air seemed wrong, like it was rippling. I thought that was just a concussion settling in.”

 

“That’s what I saw too,” Ashley said, “It was like looking at it through smoke, it was all distorted.”

 

“There haven’t been any more reports of the dark energy sightings or readings. But I don’t think this is any good.” Tali raised her hand to her helmet in thought.

 

“We’re fighting air now? This just gets better and better.” Wrex grumbled.

 

“There has to be a reason. Javik had no insights to it when I asked him,” Liara sighed, “But he’s also not a scientist. Goddess what I wouldn’t give…”

 

Ashley had heard her ask for a Prothean scientist several times during the war and it left an uncomfortable feeling in her gut hearing it again now that they were supposed to be at peace.

 

“I can’t believe I’m saying this…but what about the Rachni Queen? She’s lived a long time, perhaps she knows something,” Tali suggested but shuddered in the reminder of scuttling Rachni.

 

“Didn’t Shepard let her go?” Kaidan asked, confused.

 

“And she came back to join the fight.” Garrus shrugged, “The war made for some strange relationships.”

 

“Hey Joker, EDI, you’re still listening in on all this right?” Ashley said, looking up though there was no real reason to.

 

“Maybe.” Joker replied at the same time EDI said ‘Affirmative’. “Let me guess, plot a court for her last known destination. We picking up or dropping anyone off in the meantime?”

 

Ashley turned to look over at her old crewmates. “You guys in?”

 

“Ah I guess breeding can wait a little longer. Got the first hatch anyway.” Wrex said. While he was shrugging it off, Ashley knew how much being able to have children again meant to him and how much he was putting aside.

 

“You sure you even know how to handle a gun still? Guess I’ll have to stick around to find out.” Garrus nodded at Kaidan. “The Lieutenant Commander here might even help you out with your biotics if you’ve forgotten that too.”

 

Kaidan shot Garrus an ungrateful look at being volunteered, especially when Wrex looked at both of them darkly.

 

“I’m in,” Tali said to break the standstill.

 

“It’s nice to have us all back.” Liara smiled at Kaidan. “In case we missed saying it, welcome back Kaidan.”

 

“Thanks Liara.” Kaidan broke off into a yawn. Like she had been waiting for it Chakwas stepped in to push them all from the room, even Ashley was sent out as he shut his eyes and fell back asleep.

 

“I should go tell James and Javik where we’re heading.” Liara said, taking that responsibility from Ashley thankfully, “I’m sure they’ll want to know.”

 

The rest of the team scattered to the points where they had been; Garrus heading back to the Main Battery, Tali to Engineering, and Wrex surprisingly went to the Starboard Lounge while saying something about getting a window this time.

 

Ashley walked to the elevator before she stopped, looking at the memorial wall.

 

Taking Kaidan’s name off it was harder than putting it on but it sure felt better. She held the metal plate in her hand almost victoriously. Maybe she’d wrap it up for Kaidan as a gift one day for a joke when they could make fun of all this and the sting was gone. If it ever was.

 

“Please,” She said softly, shutting her eyes and issuing a prayer. “Please don’t make me put it back on here.”

 

No one answered but she wasn’t expecting anyone to.

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan was up the next day though he still looked terrible and bruised where bullets had hit his barrier hard enough to impact him. She couldn’t see the wound where bullets had gotten through on his side but was willing to bet that a few medigel treatments hadn’t patched that up yet.

 

“Are you supposed to be up?” Ashley asked when he came to her door, reaching out in case Kaidan keeled over on her.

 

“Don’t tell Chakwas.” Kaidan responded, answering her question.

 

Ashley let him in, shaking her head, “What sort of bribe do you have to keep me from spilling this to here, LT?”

 

“How about when I’m better I’ll use Liara’s connections and find better rations to cook with.” Kaidan tried not to wince as he sat down on her bed but it was clear he was still in pain.

 

“Hm,” Ashley pretended to be weighing her options, “I guess that’s good enough. What brings you here anyway?”

 

At that Kaidan avoided her gaze, holding up the book she hadn’t noticed in his hand. “Chakwas mentioned you were reading it to me. It’s uh, hard to focus on things right now but I was going stir crazy just lying there.”

 

“So you decided to steal my bed and make me read to you, hell of a way to show a girl a good time Kaidan.” The flirting came out naturally and Ashley nearly bit her tongue at that. Hadn’t she told herself she was going to let Kaidan adjust to the world? Just because she had missed him more than she should have didn’t mean Kaidan felt the same way.

 

He had only seen her hours before she’d stepped through that portal after all from his point of view.

 

“Well it was either that or get you to come to med bay.” Kaidan scratched at his neck where stubble was growing in, “Wasn’t sure if you were busy but I thought I’d check.”

 

“I could have been filling out reports.” There were certainly a lot of them she was supposed to be reading. Kaidan stared at her without saying anything and Ashley rolled her eyes. “I was actually just about to send the Alliance the notice you were alive again. I don’t know how Shepard managed to explain shit like this in her reports.”

 

“You said the Council still didn’t believe her even after Sovereign attacked the Citadel.” Kaidan frowned, “We could have had all that time to prepare…”

 

Ashley made a face, “Udina certainly didn’t help matters.” And she had almost believed him over Shepard, her pride was still wounded over that. She reached down to snatch the book from Kaidan’s hand and took a seat, resting her feet on her bed and opted to change the subject. “So should I tuck you in too Alenko?”

 

This time Kaidan rolled his eyes. “It was actually more an excuse to come here, I just wanted to talk.”

 

Those words never sounded good and Ashley forced herself to sink back into the chair in an air of openness. “Before you do, just so you know, you don’t have to stay here.” She didn’t want to say that but given everything that happened it only seemed right to give Kaidan a way out before he stayed because of some misplaced honour on his part.

 

Kaidan’s brow furrowed when his frown deepened, “You kicking me off the ship?”

 

“Never.” She said without hesitation before she could stop herself.

 

“You’re not getting rid of me so easily.” Kaidan’s foot nudged hers, his head ducked a little as he tried to meet her eyes but she turned away.

 

“Kaidan…” She sighed, “A lot has changed. I couldn’t blame you if you wanted to leave all this bullshit behind, I mean, sure we kicked those Reapers ass’-” She paused for a second, “Well whatever qualifies for their ass anyway. But dark energy? Wrex is right, it’s beyond fucked up.” She looked back over to hear what he had to say, knowing she owed him that.

 

“Business as usual then.” Kaidan shrugged, when he saw that still didn’t reassure her he reached out, resting his hand on her calf where he could reach it without too much pain. “Ash I’m staying. It’s not because I’ve got nowhere else to go.” That certainly sounded heartbreaking and Ashley wondered if Chakwas had broken the news of his family to him. “It’s because this is my family too.”

 

Ashley’s smile was a little more genuine this time. “Wrex does make a great crazy uncle doesn’t he?” She leaned down to trail her fingers lightly over Kaidan’s. “Thanks Kaidan. And I’m sorry.” She bit her lip, always bad at these sorts of things. “We didn’t know they hit Vancouver until it was too late.”

 

His eyes looked wet when he blinked and he pulled his hand back to scrub at his face. Ashley thought about how she’d feel if she came back from the middle of the fight with no clue what was going on and heard she’d lost her sisters.

 

She moved, slipping over to the bed and pulling Kaidan into a hug while trying to be careful of his injuries. He clutched her back like he was looking for a lifeline and Ashley supposed in some ways he was. She pressed her face into his neck, ignoring how the stubble scratched at her, and thanking God quietly that Kaidan was alive and there so that she could even do this.

 

“Ash?” Kaidan asked softly and she grunted her acknowledgement. “We’re not going to get that talk are we?” He was trying for humour but Ashley could hear the sorrow in his voice still as if he was only thinking of his parents.

 

“We’ve got time.” She said and for the first time realized that they in fact did. “We’ve got time.” She repeated just because she could.

 

She didn’t let go but neither did Kaidan, at least not till Chakwas came over the intercom and demanded Kaidan return to the medbay least she come drag him back there.

 

“I’ll swing by later.” Ashley promised, holding up the book, “Maybe if you’re lucky we can even finish this.”

 

“Think I’ve been pretty lucky so far.” Kaidan smirked as he walked out and Ashley fell back onto her bed in contemplation, thumbing the pages of the book idly.

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan recovered enough to go out with them when they reached the coordinates of the last sighting of the Rachni Queen. He had told them that they’d have to strap him down to the bed to stop him from coming anyway.

 

“Oh sure, leave me and Chakwas on the ship while you all go out.” Joker said as they loaded up. “Cause that’s never gone wrong.”

 

“Do not worry Jeff.” EDI said, “I am still technically here as well.”

 

Joker paused, realizing his joke had been taken seriously again. “Thanks EDI.” He mumbled and Ashley thought Shepard was right, those two were good for each other.

 

“Let’s just get this going.” Wrex grinned, all teeth in a way that meant he was ready for a fight, “If this all goes to hell I’m gonna look forward to fighting Rachni.”

 

“Always looking on the bright side Wrex,” Tali deadpanned from next to him but her shotgun was also on hand.

 

Ashley exchanged an amused glance with Kaidan. The team stepped onto the shuttle to go down to the rocky plains below.

 

“It seems that no cycle can ever truly make these creatures extinct.” Javik said and Ashley wasn’t sure whether it was a complaint or a compliment.

 

“Your cycle didn’t even have the brains to turn us Krogan on them.” Wrex chuckled to himself and next to him Garrus shook his head.

 

“Seeing as how we’re still looking for a Rachni Queen Wrex you may not want to praise your job on that yet.” Garrus said.

 

“I don’t see what the big deal is.” James commented as he rolled his shoulders back. “They’re just bugs.”

 

“You weren’t there when they practically crawling into my environmental suit.” Tali replied. “I still have nightmares about Noveria.” She glanced over Liara when she realized how that could be interpreted but Liara smiled back.

 

“It’s okay Tali,” Liara said, “So do I.”

 

Tali leaned in a little closer to Liara, offering quiet support and next to her Ashley could feel Kaidan shudder at the memory.

 

“Least this planet won’t be as cold,” He said quiet enough so that only Ashley could hear him.

 

“Yeah,” She teased, “You won’t even have to bring a sweater.”

 

She didn’t see him roll his eyes but was betting he did.

 

“All right, approaching the LZ.” Steve said loudly over top of all of their voices. “Good luck out there.”

 

“Perhaps we shouldn’t have come bearing weapons.” Liara said about ten minutes into their walk. They had left their helmets off with the breathable air and a gesture of goodwill but all of them still wore armour and carried weapons.

 

“Given our history with the Rachni it would be unwise not to.” EDI said, “However, I do believe that Commander Shepard would have attempted a negotiation before firing first.”

 

Shepard would have been better at this, Ashley thought. Ashley was more of a shoot first kind of person. It was a mistake trying to lead this expedition, she was going to mess this up in a way Shepard never would have.

 

Kaidan caught her eyes, tilting his head just a little in a silent question.

 

Her brittle smile probably wasn’t in any way reassuring but it was the best she could do in the circumstances.

 

“Heads up.” Wrex called out and suddenly the world just shifted around them as a creature shadowed them from up above.

 

“Shit that is a big bug.” James said but Ashley tuned him out to look up at the Rachni Queen.

 

“We know not why you have come here.” The voice of the Rachni Queen pounded in Ashley’s ears, melodic and terrifying all at once and it was like something scratched at the back of her mind. Somewhere during the war she must have figured out how to talk to the other species without using a dead body. Ashley wasn’t sure which was creepier.

 

Her mouth felt too dry and she licked her lips as she attempted to speak. “We just have a question for you.”

 

There was a moment of silence and then, “Speak.”

 

“There’s been patches of dark energy popping up in systems.” Ashley really didn’t know how to explain it, shooting a look over at Tali but Tali was too focused on the Rachni Queen. “It’s uh,” She turned to Kaidan who shrugged, looking as lost as she did, “Affecting time.”

 

Tali seemed to snap out of her stupor, “What she means to say is that this energy is manipulating the locations it appears on, changing it and opening these areas to another time period.”

 

The Rachni Queen shifted suddenly and all of them tensed. She was looking at them Ashley realized and her gaze stopped at Kaidan. “You are not of here.” She said.

 

“Well.” Kaidan laughed as best he could, “That’s one way of putting it.”

 

“Look, do you know anything about this?” Ashley asked, not entirely comfortable with the Rachni Queen acting like there was something wrong with Kaidan. “We sort of need to stop it.”

 

“This was a mistake.” She heard Javik say in an angry whisper. “There should be no bargaining with this creature.”

 

“Your song was broken.” The Rachni Queen seemed intent on ignoring them, still looking at Kaidan.

 

“Hey,” Ashley finally yelled. “Can you help us or not?”

 

“The energy warps time.” The Rachni Queen finally seemed to answer, “Our mother cried of this warning. It occurred after the cycle.”

 

“After the cycle…” Liara sounded like she was thinking out loud. “Do you mean after the Reapers came for the Protheans?”

 

“It was that time.”

 

“So this could be a naturally occurring phenomenon,” Liara hummed, “A side effect of the Reapers coming from dark space? Are you sure this didn’t happen in your time Javik?”

 

Javik huffed, “I have already stated my answer. But there is a chance it was happening, I was merely unaware of its existence.”

 

 “Careful Javik, that was almost an apology.” Tali called out, far too gleeful.

 

“Can we just sort of focus at least.” Ashley sighed, she rubbed at her eyes but it hurt with the gloves. “Thanks for the answers.” She called up to the Rachni Queen, trying to be polite.

 

Before the Rachni Queen could answer – or worse, start on Kaidan again – Ashley grabbed Kaidan’s shoulder and began to walk back to the shuttle, signalling everyone to follow her.

 

“That went better than expected.” James said, slinging his gun back over his shoulder.

 

“Nothing exploded. Damn shame.” Wrex grumbled. The rest of the team was joking in relief that it had gone well but Ashley wasn’t listening.

 

“Ash, you okay?” Kaidan, stopped, making her stop too. He turned her to face him, resting his hands on both of her shoulders. “You guys go on, we just need a sec.” He told the rest and then waited until they were out of earshot. “What’s wrong?”

 

“What’s wrong?” She repeated, her voice slightly strangled. “Kaidan everything is what’s wrong. Did you not hear her, your song is broken. I broke it.”

 

“Pretty sure the Geth firing at me is what broke it.”

 

“Kaidan.” She said, her shoulders falling in exhaustion.

 

“Ash.” He responded in the same tone. “I’m okay. Well. Not at one hundred percent yet and I’ve still got some things to figure out but I’m alive Ash, you did that.”

 

“Greatly,” She said, the poem pulling at her memory, “Have suffered greatly.” She shut her eyes. “How can you just be okay with this?”

 

“I’m not.” Kaidan said bluntly, “Ash my parents…” His voice faltered, “Everything here is so strange, but I’ve got you and that helps. It helps more than you realize. Saying goodbye to you on Virmire…it felt like the end for me.”

 

“It was the end for you.” Ashley said, there was a bite in her voice that she couldn’t erase.

 

“Except I’m still standing here. Things got wrecked, things ended, we lost Shepard and I never thought that would ever be a possibility.” Kaidan laughed sadly in memory of how much larger than life Shepard had always seemed. “But don’t you think that both of us here might mean something?”

 

Ashley glanced up at him, raising her hand to press it to his cheek. Kaidan still hadn’t shaved, it made him look even more handsome then she remember if she wasn’t lying to herself.  “When I said I’d see you on the other side…this really isn’t what I meant.”

 

“I figured.” His mouth quirked upwards, “Plans go to hell all the time.”

 

“No shit.” Ashley sighed and went to pull back but Kaidan caught her hand and held it there.

 

“Please tell me I’m not the only one seeing this…I thought, I mean before Virmire and everything, you and I might have…been something.” Kaidan was looking at her with such hope in his eyes and Ashley decided to just let go.

 

“If you mean that I was ready to break out that tin foil miniskirt,” She let it hang in the air for a second before she smirked, “You were getting there LT.”

 

She didn’t know who moved first but Kaidan’s lips were chapped and when he kissed it tingled, like he was running a low level biotic shield or maybe that was just what biotics kissed like – Ashley wasn’t about to go kiss Liara to compare.

 

She wished she didn’t have armour on and was careful that when her fingers slid through Kaidan’s hair near the back of his neck she didn’t press too hard. It didn’t help however with his bruises and Kaidan pulled back with a small “Ow.”

 

“That better not be an indication of my kissing.” Ashley said but she was grinning, happier than she felt in a long time.

 

Kaidan’s voice was raspy, lower when he talked, “Maybe we should get back to the Normandy and I’ll show you how much I appreciated it.”

 

“Maybe you should get back to medbay.” Ashley shot back, much as she would have liked to continue it Kaidan looked like the walking had exhausted him.

 

“Fine,” He relented, “But this isn’t over Gunnery Chief- sorry, _Spectre_ Williams”

 

“Damn right it’s not.”

 

Their comms pinged and Steve came over the radio, “Do you guys need me to move the shuttle to you?” He asked, sounding worried and Ashley wondered how long they’d been standing there if everyone else had already reached the shuttle.

 

“We’re good Cortez.” She said, raising an eyebrow at Kaidan to make sure. He nodded back, indicating he’d make the walk. “We’ll meet you there.”

 

Her hand found his as they walked and again she cursed the armour but there’d be time for everything later. They only let go when they approached the shuttle but it did no good because they were met with snickers from Garrus and Tali.

 

“Told you it’d only take them a few weeks, you owe me credits Vakarian.” Wrex said and Ashley made a face.

 

“Can we please just move on.” She begged to no one in particular. “Anyone think of something with the dark energy?”

 

“Yes actually.” Tali said, her laughter breaking off, “If it is a byproduct of the Reapers entering from dark space then it should just be as simple as asking them.” Tali shook her head. “Asking a Geth now asking a Reaper, this is all Shepard’s fault.”

 

“I thought they weren’t actually speaking, just helping us rebuild and moving on.” Ashley said.

 

“Well, I don’t think anyone has actually attempted it.” Liara shrugged, “Speaking to a Reaper wasn’t quite our priority.”

 

“Hey EDI, think you pull out some code to talk to them?” James piped up, grinning at EDI. “Tell ‘em you’re assuming direct intervention or something.”

 

“I do not believe I’d be successful.” EDI replied, “However, the Geth have had a successful attempt in speaking to them in the past, it would be prudent if we spoke to them.”

 

“You know with sentences like that I’m still not sure I’m not hallucinating.” Kaidan said, leaning against the bulkhead.

 

“Ha, if Williams didn’t convince you this is real back there then she’s not doing it right.” Wrex sounded far too amused. “But I ain’t kissing you to wake you up, princess.”

 

“Thanks Wrex.” Kaidan said drily.

 

“Everyone got it out of their system?” Ashley asked, looking around and while everyone was grinning at them – except for Javik who looked done with this whole cycle – nobody else said anything. “Back to the matter at hand then. Tali, contact the guild of flashlights. Tell them we need their help. Maybe don’t tell them I called them that.”

 

“Hey why hasn’t anyone else come through these things? Like you think we’d notice if people from the past just suddenly appeared.” James was frowning, like trying to wrap the idea of the portals around his mind.

 

“He has a point.” Garrus said, “It seems strange that no one else would have accidentally stumbled through.”

 

“Perhaps there’s more to it than that that we aren’t aware of.” Liara said, “I can have Glyph look into the other pockets of dark energy we have seen coming up.”

 

“Uh guys?” Joker’s voice came over the intercom, “So EDI was just telling me what happened and I think I have an idea.”

 

* * *

 

 

Kaidan stumbled off to medbay when they got on board. The fact that he didn’t even argue it worried Ashley but she watched him go, knowing that there was nothing she could do right now to help him.

 

The rest of the team met up in old war room where Joker was fiddling with a screen.

 

“So what’s this idea?” Ashley asked when they stepped in.

 

“Hold on.” Joker raised a hand, “And…ta da.”

 

The screen flickered to life and Ashley squinted at it, surprised when she suddenly appeared on screen. “What the hell?”

 

“It’s you on Virmire.” Joker explained. “EDI realized that we could get video. Cause apparently she’s recording.”

 

“You couldn’t have mentioned this before?” Ashley turned to EDI’s mobile unit.

 

“It did not seem relevant at the time.” EDI said and paused before admitting, “It was a lapse in my judgement.”

 

“Happens to the best of us. Next time though,” Ashley began before EDI cut her off.

 

“I will let you know.” EDI assured her.

 

She turned back to the screen, watching herself as she reached the rippling air on Virmire. She was glad she had her helmet on there so no one could see her expression when she realized she was hearing Kaidan, she knew it was a mixture of disbelief and devastation.

 

“Fuck this,” she heard herself say and watched as she ran towards the anomaly.

 

“There, can you stop it.” Tali cut in and Joker did so. Tali reached out, pointing at something. “See how the air bends around you Ashley? It’s like it’s engulfing you.”

 

“I didn’t feel anything like that.” Though she might have not been paying attention and only focused on Kaidan.

 

“I think it’s some kind of net.” Tali was clearly lost in her own ramblings, going on without input from the others. “See look,” She tapped at the console and the video zoomed in, “Something catches you there.”

 

Ashley had to tilt her head to see what Tali was seeing but sure enough it looked like there was a lattice pattern around her, however faint it was. “I don’t remember any of this.”

 

“Too busy trying to save your boyfriend.” Wrex slapped her on her shoulder, making Ashley take a step forward.

 

“I was trying to save Kaidan.” She grumbled, refusing to rub her shoulder where it hurt out of pure stubbornness. “Don’t make me shoot you Wrex.”

 

“Man first Shepard with the beacon now you with this net thing. I’m calling it, we’re cursed.” Joker crossed his arms. “If Presley starts haunting the halls I’m out.”

 

“You would leave me behind for an apparition?” EDI asked and Joker immediately backpedaled.

 

“What,” He scoffed, “Uh no.” He made a face. “Shit I’m not gonna win this one am I? Hey everyone let’s go back to the physics defying spectacle.” Joker said quickly, looking away from EDI guiltily and back at the screen.

 

“I need to examine this.” Tali exhaled loudly, not quite a sigh but her filter made it hiss in the air. “I could have used Legion’s help. Keelah,” Her tone was mournful, Ashley had only met the Geth unit called Legion briefly but it was clear he’d had an impact on Talu. Tali straightened up, “I could at least use Miranda’s.”

 

“Maybe it’s time to bring in the rest of the old crew then.” Garrus leaned back against the railings.

 

“And it’s not even our five year reunion.” Joker laughed, “Hell we didn’t even make it a full year without trouble.”

 

“Let’s just get everyone we need.” Ashley felt another headache coming on. “Everyone knows what they need to do so get on it.” Without another word she slipped out of the war room and back to the elevator, taking it down to the third deck.

 

Kaidan was already sleeping when she got to the medbay however so she veered off to the lounge for a drink.

 

“You know,” Tali said when she found Ashley there twenty minutes later, “We don’t expect you to have the answers.” She took a seat on the stool next to Ashley and reached over the bar to grab some Turian brandy that Garrus had left on the ship.

 

“Sure would be nice if I did.” Ashley dropped her face into her hands. “What am I even doing here Tali?”

 

“The best that you can.” Tali said and rested her hand on Ashley’s shoulder. “And we all know that.”

 

“Thanks Tali.” Ashley reached for her glass and held it up a cheers. “I appreciate that.”

 

“So,” Tali said just as Ashley was taking a sip. “You and Kaidan?” Ashley glared over the rim of her cup, not answering. Tali snickered, “Totally called it.”

 

* * *

 

 

It took two weeks to gather the whole old Normandy crew. Ashley had been glad for the down time, it meant that Kaidan could recuperate and that they got time talk. Though half those talks had ended with them falling asleep in Ashley’s bed.

 

While she’d met the rest of the Normandy crew before at the party Shepard had thrown Kaidan had no idea who they were.

 

“Miranda and Jacob are the ones who brought Shepard back to life, they’re Ex-Cerberus but not too bad for it.”

 

“High praise coming from you.” Kaidan commented from where they sat.

 

“High praise indeed.” Kasumi said standing over them as she flickered into view but was then gone a second later.

 

“And that’s Kasumi, word of advice, don’t have anything valuable out while she’s around.” Ashley said.

 

She and Kaidan had taken a seat in the cargo bay which was the only place large enough for all of them. Samantha, Tali, Liara, and Miranda were all looking over the data and comparing notes.

 

Really Ashley thought they just needed Miranda’s expertise but Shepard would have liked the team back together anyway so this was more in her memory. Ashley made note that they ought to have a proper memorial, just those that had served on the Normandy. They had already had one but that was before the relays got fixed and the rest of the team deserved a chance to say their goodbyes.

 

“So you’re the dead guy?” Jack had come over, smirking at the two of them. “Hey Williams he’s not bad looking, guess you fucked some life _in_ to him.”

                                                                                                                                         

Ashley snorted at that, she and Jack had hit it off at the party with how much they despised Cerberus.

 

“Technically I never actually died.” Kaidan pointed out. “And is there some kind of intel that got sent out? Did Wrex tell everyone?

 

“So long as I don’t have to shockwave you into that wall for being a husk, I think we’re good.” Jack said and crossed her arms, “I may have heard it from EDI. She does love gossip.”

 

“Maybe we don’t even have to file your paperwork to the Alliance at this rate.” Ashley leaned back on the box, resting on her hands. “Hackett’ll just hear it from his intelligence network.” Despite that she was kidding she had already sent Kaidan’s file back into the Alliance and they had reinstated him last week, even bumped him up to Major for his “sacrifice” on Virmire.

 

At that rate he would catch up to Ashley on being a Spectre in a month.

 

“You could always send him a video,” Jack began but got cut off by Miranda.

 

“I think we’ve found something.” Miranda called out and everyone drew around the table they had set up.

 

“From our intel with Geth who spoke to the Reapers and – well, what’s left of Commander Shepard,” Samantha said and made a face.

 

That news had come as another hit to the team, learning that Shepard had scattered herself into the Reapers in order to take control of them. From what the Geth told them the Reapers had seemed confused when forced to talk and were pulling back into dark space.

 

“This is natural phenomenon like we thought.” Samantha took a breath and continued. “Their arrival from dark space actually uses a massive amount of eezo; we’re talking units in the billions or well much higher than that really.”

 

“Get to the point.” Grunt butted in.

 

“Right, the point is that when they do it the eezo actually mixes with several other chemicals and creates what we know as this dark energy. Sovereign arriving early is what caused Haestrom’s sun to age prematurely as he entered into that system. We all know that there’s dark energy from eezo that lets us control mass effect fields and FTL travel and biotics, but it looks like there’s an effect it creates specifically from the Reapers entering from dark space that is affecting time.”

 

“It cause ripples like the one Ashley saw.” Liara picked up the thread, “But upon inspecting one of these pockets we found that things from our time can go through but things on the other side cannot, unless they are directly interacted with.” Liara nodded at Kaidan.

 

“So is this actually a problem?” Ashley asked, “Don’t we just tell people to stay away from them?”

 

“Surprisingly…yes.” Tali sounded shocked herself by the answer. “However I wouldn’t advise bringing anything else through them. When Kaidan came through there was a massive amount of unstable eezo left in the air, doing something like that again could begin to damage our worlds. But if the Reapers return to dark space these pockets do eventually fade on their own.”

 

“Wait,” Ashley had a soul crushing thought, “When they leave…will Kaidan be okay?”

 

“Ash,” He reached out to touch her hand but she didn’t look back, she needed the answer.

 

_Please_ , she remembered her plea, _please don’t make me put his name back on that damned wall._

 

“He should be fine.” Liara was quick to assure her. “He’s here now and Chakwas did a scan, there’s no trace of altered eezo on him like there was when you first came through the portal.”

 

Ashley’s breath faltered from the sheer relief she felt and she turned back to look at Kaidan. He leaned in to press a kiss to her forehead, hovering there and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

 

“All this rushing around for nothing.” Wrex snorted in disdain, taking the attention away from Ashley and Kaidan and Ashley shot him a grateful look that he returned with a very dark Krogan smile.

 

“Maybe not nothing.” Miranda said, “How many of you heard of the Andromeda Initiative?” By the confused looks around the table it looked like no one had except for Wrex and Liara.

 

“You talking about that pyjack brained plan to go to another galaxy that clan Nakmor went on. Shit they’re probably all dead by now.”

 

“I wouldn’t put them out yet Wrex.” Liara said, “Those ships were meant to withstand a lot and they left before the Reapers came. It won’t be another six hundred years until they reach Andromeda but while scanning we discovered a sort of funnel, feeding off our dark energy and forcing it in the direction of the Andromeda galaxy.”

 

“And this means what for us?” Garrus asked.

 

“Well, it means that something is taking advantage of the Reapers here. Something out there knew about them and was using their manipulated dark energy to create something. I don’t know what it could form but it will be dangerous. I propose we send a ship to follow the line the Nexus took with this information. It won’t reach them until after they’ve woken up but it might help them somehow.” Liara shrugged then, “You’re right though, this will have no effect on us.”

 

“Like I said, for nothing.” Wrex intoned and shook his head. “Guess it brought the kid back so it did some good.”

 

“We’ll place warnings on every planet. Maybe even shields to stop anyone from attempting to go through them.” Miranda was already off planning, tapping at a datapad.

 

“You know what Shepard would say here since we’ve finished?” Tali asked, bemused. Practically everyone chimed in with her when she said, “I should go.”

 

“I wish I did a drinking game for every time I heard that.” Joker said and the whole atmosphere felt relaxed now that there was no threat to behold.

 

Stories began getting traded and Steve broke out drinks from James’ private stash. Ashley rested her head against Kaidan’s shoulder, shutting her eyes and just breathing for the first time in what felt like forever.

 

“You know,” She said so only Kaidan could hear her, “This all feels a little anticlimactic, I mean it’s got such a simple solution.” It almost didn’t feel right.

 

“Maybe someone out there is giving us a break.” Kaidan replied, “But if you’d like I can always shoot something for you.” It was an offer he made in jest all those years ago on the Citadel during a deal they’d been involved in where no action happened.

 

“Nah,” Ashley said, same as she had then and reached up to lace her fingers with Kaidan’s where his hand was still on her shoulder. “I’m good.” 

 

* * *

 

 

“I’m pretty sure shore leave isn’t supposed to be doing manual labour.” Ashley said as she packed her bag.

 

“Vancouver needs some help rebuilding, even if the Reapers did most of the hard work.” Kaidan pointed out, “Don’t worry, my people know how to break out the good beer after a days work.”

 

“Oh well with that how could I resist.” Ashley said drily but let Kaidan catch her as she went to walk by, resting her hands on his shoulders.

 

“You pack that miniskirt?” Kaidan asked, his eyes crinkling at the edges as he smiled.

 

“You just keep thinking you’re going to get lucky.” Ashley tsked, “I also packed my rifle just in case.”

 

“I guess this is us.” Kaidan admitted. “Just in case seems more like a ‘when’ anyway. But I say we try to get some downtime.” He grinned mischievously suddenly, “With all due respect, ma’am.”

 

At the reminder of their last conversation on Virmire Ashley rolled her eyes, pleased that didn’t sting anymore. “Guess that means you’re kissing my ass, Major.”

 

“Among other things.” Kaidan teased.

 

For all that he looked happy to go back to Vancouver Ashley could tell that going there without his parents to visit was hard. She tipped her head up and pulled Kaidan down for a kiss.

 

“Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.” She said softly, her lips still brushing Kaidan’s even as she spoke.

 

“Yeah Ash,” Kaidan cupped her face in his hands and went to kiss her again, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you got to the end of this then thank you, I know it's a rare pair but I did put a lot into this fic so I hope you enjoyed it!


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